That Summer

I can remember the first time I ever saw you. I was new on the bus and you sat at the front, talking to EJ.

I can remember the first time you talked to me and we had an actual conversation. I was listening to my ipod. I'm So Sick by Flyleaf was on and you sang it with me... Not so well, I might add.

I can remember the first time you came to my house with Randy. You biked up and down my street screaming my name until I came outside. We went Randy to the park.

We talked about everything.... and nothing. And then the unthinkable happened. You and Kelsey went out. Then you broke up.

And then you moved. Kelsey and I walked over to your house with lovenotes. And then it rained. I was relieved when I realized that Kelsey's ink probably ruined both of them.

And then I saw you again. And you threw flip flops at me and Kelsey as we hid in my computer room.

And then I was chilling in my house drinking a HUGE orange cup of Tampico and eating a bagel in my pajamas. You kept calling me. I never answered. Then Luke showed up at my door. I rolled my eyes and left. You, Kelsey, Reynold, Luke, and I all hung out that day. I think I gave you a quarter of my bagel. And then everyone but me got high. And you were struggling to kiss me. You ended up kissing my cheek. I acted annoyed... I really wasn't. I was blushing like crazy. I would never admit it to anyone but I loved the idea of you liking me at all. I still do to this day.

And then you started wanting to be with Jess and you sent me this very long text about how were better off being friends. I cried a bit.

And then we were going to try again. And it was going very well. And then you were talking to someone else. You tried to tell me the day before valentine's day. Way to be festive. You said that Luke and Jess said stuff to you about how I'm not worth the distance and how I'd never get over Vernon. Both were lies. And I ignored you for a long time.

And then I saw you before credit recovery. And you were like "OHHHH MYYY GODD, Its Denae." Just hearing you say that made me want to cry. I hugged you and ran up stairs.

Everytime I see you, its a painful reminder of how good things used to be between us. You used to be so different. You used to rock a DARE shirt!!! Things werent awkward. Kelsey loves you. that hurst me because I could never even talk to you around her. I couldn't do that to her. I'd never say any of this to your face. There is always going to be a bit of my heart closed off for you, whether you feel the same way about me or not. I miss you very much. And I'll always love you.