Kill Me

I'd be absolutely mortified if you ever found this.

I know I'm not ugly.
I know you love me.
I know were best friends.
I know that I'm in love with you.

1. When We Met
2. Pearle's Party
3. The Second Time Around
4. Truth or Dare
5. Homecoming
6. Nancy's Couch
7. Spreitzer's
8. Birthday Party
9. Bonfire

1. When We Met
Pearle and I had grown apart for about a year. Laura was always talking about how she had new friends now. And You sounded weird. But When I actually met you.... It was crazy. You don't understand. My heart skipped a few beats. You seemed like such a great person. And You are! But still... I had a major crush. The next weekend, you kissed my cheek when you saw me. Made my week.

2. Pearle's Party
Pearle has her little camping party. I brought Kelsey, who thought the idea of us was a good one. I wore my Tripps and she told you to tie the bows for me. Sigh. That silly banana. Every few minutes you were hugging me or kissing my cheek and my neck. And then you asked me out right before I left. When I said yes, you smiled at me. It was ridiculous. And you hugged me way too tight. But I didn't mind. Well we never got to see each other so we broke up and decided to be friends.

3. The Second Time Around
I just got my red highlights done and I was feeling bad ass. I saw you while I was walking out of the building and you just stared at me and gave me this really weak hug. It was very out of character. So I was like "Can you be more enthusiastic please?!" And you laughed and hugged me again. That night you texted me and poured your heart out to me. I couldn't say no to that! Things went well for a long time.

4. Truth or Dare
Things weren't right. We decided to break up because things didn't feel right. Three days later I was in Spanish with Jenny and Simone and I found out that you kissed Jasmine during truth or dare. I cried. Alot. In front of everyone. I lied and said it was because I was angry. My heart was completely shattered.

5. Homecoming
I hated seeing you dance with a bunch of extremely skanky whores. But you did look fine as hell while doing it! Then we slow danced. It was a completely comfortable embrace. Not awkward at all for me. We did't have to speak.

6. Nancy's Couch
We practically had an orgy! You pulled me on top of you like twenty times. You used to lay on me. It was just.... really weird after the fact. But around Christmas we watched the Grinch, tNBC, and Fired Up! Many comments about distant futures were made. I spent all day with you. It was great!

7. Spreitzer's
I used to tell Chelsea about how much I like you. And I have a whole section of doodles and lyrics written and drawn about you. Its pathetic. But I still can't throw some of them away.

8. Birthday Party
You held my hand. And you kissed it. And we cuddled. And I was completely content with life.

9. Bonfire
Frankie neglected me all day and you didn't. You were flirting with me and I was loving every second of your company. At some point you just stopped and looked me in the eye and told me that you love me... Secretly. I know I blushed a lot. We hugged when we were alone. And I held your hands on our way to the front of the house.
The day before I told you to hug me while I was laying down (I'm lazy) and you did. And i didn't want you to move.

You told me that you love me. Just not a lot. That's okay.
"I don't care if you don't want me.
Cuz I'm yours, yours, yours anyhow."